Friday, March 31, 2006

Warning: TMI to follow!!

For a little while now, it has been suggested to me, by various people who weren't trying to get a piece of me, that I should get a little Latin lovin. Well, I had my first Latin lovin experience last night, and I really hope that it wasn't what my advisors had in mind. He was this 21 year old kid who works in the local ABP and who caught my eye a little while ago. We started talking, or, rather, he started talking and I listened a bunch. He excitedly twittered on about Jim Morrison when he found out I had a similar love for him and he shared with me more than I would have expected someone would share with a stranger after knowing them less than an hour. I waited for him to get done cleaning and we went to his house.
His room is the basement of a house, which smells, well, like a basement, and the door has no knob*. There are CD's and books and guitars everywhere. We talked, about music and art, and he showed me a DVD of the Doors, and we drank Sleepy Time tea. He walked me to my car at what I thought was the end of the night, and then he proceeded to weasel his way into my car and back home with me**.
Ok, so, with all the details that proceeded aside, it turns out that he is a premature ejaculator. Who knew? The first time, he only lasted 30 seconds*** and the second time was about 2 minutes. I really did feel bad for him...really. He asked, after the first time, what I would do if the second time went the same as the first, and I replied, "Go to sleep?"
After the second time I asked him if this happens to him. "Sometimes." So, not for him but in general, is there anything that I can do to help if I encounter this problem again? This is new territory for me as most of the guys I have been with could go for hours, and it always helps to go into every situation prepared. A male friend of mine suggested different positions might help, but he wasn't all too sure himself. Female opinions, esp ones that are tried and true, are much appriciated.

*Hi, um, real safe. And, for real, who is paying the heating bill? No doorknob=hole to the outside=cold smelly basement dwelling.
**Well, at least I have a doorknob.
***And that is not an exaggeration


Tomorrow is my big ugly Psych GRE....please send me your good energies? I know it is a little far for the South Jersey/Philly folks, but start tonight and they should reach me by morning. Thanks!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Dear me...

A pretty large part of my current job involves being the bookkeeper. I basically harrass the people who owe us money, and get harrassed by those who we owe money to. Fun. Considering the fact that I hate being in debt, more than most people I believe, I despise being held responsible for a companies money matters. And, even though I can't sign checks,* if the broadband internet connection doesn't work because the internet peoples haven't received money, or if the AMEX bill wasn't paid, or if this or that vendor is looking for a check in order to release a pending shipment, I am the first to be blamed. This would be fine if I was able to sign the checks, or if I didn't keep up with my check writing duty. But, when vendors call looking for a check, it is usually already written, waiting for my boss to John Hancock it. Oh, and speaking of vendors, I am beginning to think that all the A/R departments of all the companies we deal with meet together and discuss how my company handles it's debts.**

"Oh, that Alison, she neglects her duties," says the Apollo Credit Dept lady.
"You think you are the only one?" quips the Bayard lady, "She hasn't paid some of her December invoices."
Everyone very audibly gasps. The Western Credit man grabs at his chest, as his Brooklynite mother is known to do.

And I want to burst into the meeting and plead my case. "No, I am not the bad person here, guys...I really want to get the checks to you on time, really I do. I understand you are just doing your jobs, and you need to understand that I am just trying to do mine."

I think that I need another job.

*I can only write, receive, deposit and disperse signature means nada.
**This fear is similar to the fear I have of using handicap bathroom stalls and how I always think that there will be a line of people that can only use the stall that I am using, waiting for my able-bodied ass to get done doing my business. I realize that it is outrageous and never going to happen, but, still, the fear lingers.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

And then I kissed him...

So, last night, I made the trek down to South Jersey to visit the boy that lives down there. I figured that since he has already made the trip up to see me twice that I should drive down there at least once. As soon as I got onto the Turnpike (I hadn't even passed exit 8A yet) I really regretted leaving my warm and cozy bed to venture out into unknown territory.* But, I still wasn't sure how I felt about him and was no closer to figuring out whether or not he was worth the effort of getting to know him over the distance, so I decided to man up** and make the best of the drive down.
The trip wasn't terrible, even though I made a few slightly wrong turns*** I made it to the bar only 15 mins later than expected. The bar he had me meet him at was slightly dive-esque, but not bad at all. The people were nice and there was even a waitress that went around to get orders from anyone just standing around. It was pretty loud in there, being that a cover band was playing (and we all know how SoJo feels about their cover bands) and we had to shout to each other over music, but we were able to carry on a decent coversation. At about 1, he asked if I wanted to leave, and since I was driving back up to New Brunswick, I figured that it was a good time to go. I was parked next to him, and after scaling the low wall to get to our cars, we hugged good-bye. While still embracing, I gave him the "You-had-better-kiss-me-or-I-will-have-your-balls-in-a-sling" look, and he did. It was soft and sweet. But, that wasn't enough**** so after our final good-byes, I stole one last kiss. I damn near knocked him over, which was evident by the fact that he had his hand out to brace himself against his car, and then he scuttled off to his car. I was still standing there, like a love-drunk pre-teen in an awful made for Disney Channel movie, as he quickly walked around his car, key in hand, and got into his car.

What happened? I mean, if I had it my way, we would have been steaming up the windows of his CTS, but, no, I show restraint and he still runs away from me. Maybe I am making the whole scuttling part up, maybe he just walked casually to his car, maybe he was cold. But, I really think that I scared him. All I did was steal one little kiss...I didn't grab/rub/touch/molest/squeeze anything on him. I feel like I should apologize for the deed. Jeez, back to the drawing board (?).

*And by Unknown I mean scary to a girl who isn't from South Jersey.
** Woman up?
***I swear, his directions were all wasn't me.

****Are you shocked and surprised? Nah.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Idle Nonsense

One thing that I have noticed lately is that there are a lot of really pretty, young Black women that are dating/hanging out with really gross, smarmy White and Latino men. The women are usually early-to mid-2o's and their companions tend to be in their 40's or 50's. Now, I'm all about not descriminating, especially when it comes to love, but, jeez. One instance that comes to mind happened in the tattoo shop that I go to. I was just hanging out, shootin the breeze, when in walks a young Black woman who wants to get an upper arm tattoo that features the name of some guy. Well, in walks the guy who's name will soon be etched into this woman's flesh, yelling "What the hell are you doing? Blah Blah Blah" I mean, he drove her there so he obviously knew what she was there for...not to mention that he probably had something to do with deciding what was going to be on her arm. I guess she was taking too long, but either way, there is no need to walk into any place, let alone a public place, and loudly disrespect someone like that. And while he was waiting for her to get his name permanently on her flesh, he just stood there, scowl and all. These women seriously need to realize their potential and find someone that is worthy of them.


Ok, I need advice. There is this boy that I am trying to get to know, but he lives about an hour and a half away, so we pretty much just email back and forth. He has come to visit me twice so far, basically driving an hour and a half so that we can hang out for a few hours, only to have to drive an hour and a half home. He hasn't complained in any way, nor has he asked me to come down to him, but I can't make the boy drive that distance all the time. And, since my car is leased, I can't afford to put too many miles on it. So, my question is: Is it worth the effort to try to get to know this boy? Is it worth it, if it comes to this, to start a relationship that is long-distance from the get go?

Saturday, March 04, 2006

`You might just as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!'

They always say, "Don't go food shopping while hungry." Everything will look appetizing and therefore you will be more likely to over-spend. They should really add to that addage "and most definitely never go food shopping while you are in the midst of breaking the fast that you have been on for the past 11 days because you will notice all the possibilities that a food store holds and buy everything in sight." Yes, that is what I did. I went to Wegmans* last night to basically stock the "essentials" that I haven't had on hand due to the fact that I haven't eaten since Feb 19th. I really wasn't hungry, but boy did I have cravings. BIG time cravings. Ok, big time turkey cravings.
When you do the fast that I did, the "Master Cleanser," you are going to experince crazy cravings.** All I wanted for the last half of the fast was turkey. Hot turkey with gravy and mashed potats, turkey sandwiches with swiss, turkey salad, cream of turkey soup. I caught myself naming all the ways turkey can be served and enjoyed...sick. Really sick. So, last night, I almost purchased a 20+ lb. turkey, but settled on a few slices of organic deli turkey. I do plan, however, to go back for the turkey...I think that he deserves his own special trip. But, needless to say, I managed to buy much more than the essentials last night, and I am way too excited.

PS How do you all feel about guys with hyphenated last names? I started emailing back and forth with this guy who has two last names. It sort of weirds me out. I know that he could have received the second last name because his mother remarried and he was adopted by the husband, or his mother kept her last name and he has both the mother and the father's last names. What do you all think?

*At least it wasn't Trader Joe's.
**According to a fellow Master Cleanser freak, she was a veggie and completely craved cheese burgers. No, not veggie burgers with soy cheese, but regular beef burgers with real godforesaken cheese. Mmmmmm.